Life, Lately. // Brooke's 1st Birthday

I was not prepared for yesterday.

I have cried randomly over the last few months thinking about how quickly our baby girl has grown into a little person. I never imagined that time could move as fast as it has and I have never been a fan of the cliche' phrase "don't blink"...but seriously don't. Brooke decided that she will officially start walking on her own for her 1st birthday and she also decided that mommy and daddy would experience her first meltdown as we try to we try to ween her off of the pacifier and encourage a sippee cup more.

A baby story:

I woke up on a Sunday morning after a day of sessions at my old studio, the last session was a cake smash and since the cake did not fit in the freezer of the mini fridge at the studio I took it home. At the time our puppy Luke was only a few months old and we woke up from our nap on the couch and ate the whole ice cream cake together and then went to sleep for 12 hours. I woke up the next morning feeling weird, something had shifted, I felt fuzzy and tingly. I let my husband sleep in and went off to Panera to grab bagels...I don't know why I stopped for a pregnancy test on the way home, we were not trying to get pregnant and even if we were I knew the chances of me actually getting pregnant without a surgery or some form of help from a doctor were very slim (I have endo and PCOS), but for some reason I just had to know since the app on my phone said I was 3 days late. I walked in the door and was greeted by hyper puppies (thank goodness they have calmed down!) and handed hubby his bagel, I went up to take a shower and took my test, alone, I needed to be alone for this because I was unsure of what my reaction would be. I never knew how much I needed Brooke until that plus sign popped up. I yelled down the stairs to Nick and said "I'm pregnant!!!", I guess it was a super casual way to tell him, maybe I should have planned something...maybe I will next time. I think we were both in shock for the rest of the day, I didn't believe it until after the 3rd test that night. The next day I went off to Nordstrom (clearance shopping is my stress reliever) and I found a pair of teeny tiny red toms, which we later used in our maternity photos here. It was real after that, we were going to be parents and I never felt more strong and beautfiul than every single day of my pregnancy...well, morning sickness for 5 months had me looking a hot mess but I felt pretty.

My due date came and went, I shot a wedding at 9 months pregnant, well past my due date and even that did not kickstart labor. We scheduled the induction and went in a couple days later, by that time I was not getting any sleep, mostly because I was excited but also because I could not breathe if I laid down.

I was in labor for 31 hours, by hour 15 I was convinced she was never coming out and I accepted that I would be pregnant forever, I will spare you the novel of a birth story but I did post about some of it here. She was born at 6:04am with a head full of hair and eyes wide open looking around at all of us. She was so tiny but somehow she was 9 lbs 5 oz. I remember comparing myself to zombie bambi as I learned to walk again after pushing her out. My husband, mom, grandmother and mother in law never left my side in the 4 days we spent at the hospital. Our first night home, we were of course sleep deprived but also so in awe of this girl that sleep did not matter. Those first few weeks of learning her was such an indescribable experience, it was amazing, every day with her is amazing. I know I am biased but she really is smart and gorgeous and perfect. She gives tiny hugs and kisses non-stop. She gives sass when she is hungry or is told no. She loves us so much but probably not as much as we love her. She looks just like daddy but has my curls and independence. She's perfect and I am proud of everything she does. I will forever be her biggest fan forever and ever.


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